Things you can do to help
You might sometimes feel quite helpless when visiting your loved one in Intensive Care, but there's a lot you can do to help him or her. Research tells us that patients will often (but not always) remember your visits, and that family and friends are a real lifeline when trying to make sense of a very strange environment.
Speak to him or her: Even when patients are deeply sedated or unconscious, they may well be able to hear and be comforted by a familiar voice. You might not know what to say, or might feel a bit silly when the conversation is one-sided, but patients tell us that they like to hear about what's going on in the outside world, about their family and friends, or about their favourite TV programme or football team.
Don't be scared to touch them: Your family member might not look like quite their normal selves, or be surrounded by equipment that you're frightened to touch. Don't be scared to hold their hand or stroke their face, as many patients find this very comforting. Ask the nurse if you're not sure.
Tell us about your loved one: Please tell us if your loved one normally uses glasses or a hearing aid, or if they have any communication issues. Please bring in any items or equipment that will help us communicate with him or her, when they are awake.
We enjoy hearing more about your loved one, as it helps us connect more closely with them, and with you.Tell us about what they like to be called, their family & friends, their job, the things they like to do in their free time. Some Intensive Care Units will ask your permission to write this information on a whiteboard at the bedside, so that all of the staff can hear this.Some Units may invite you to bring in family photographs that can be left at the bedspace, particularly for patients who spend a little longer in Intensive Care.
You can help with some of their care: You may want to help with things like combing your loved one's hair, moisturising his or her skin, helping keep his or her mouth moist or perhaps helping with some gentle exercises. Ask the nurse if you're not sure.
Bring in personal items: Space in Intensive Care is very limited, but you can bring in small personal items that your loved one might like e.g. favourite perfumes or aftershave, music that they like, photographs of family or friends, etc. Ask the nurses if you're not sure about what you can bring in.
Bring in some favourite music or an iPad, Kindle or tablet: Music can be really realaxing and helpful, whether patients are awake or receiving drugs to help keep them comfortable and sleepy (sedation). You might want to bring in a personal stereo and some headphones, so that your loved one cal listen to their favourite music.
When patients are more awake, and particularly if they spend slightly longer in Intensive Care, they may become bored and welcome a distraction from everything that's going on around them. Although awake patients may sometimes struggle to concentrate, they might find it hlpful to use an iPad, Kindle, mobile phone or tablet, to keep them connected with the outside world. Ask the nurses if you're not sure.
Keep a diary, if you think it's something that might help your loved one in their recovery: Patients often have limited or "jumbled" recollections of their time in Intensive Care, and sometimes struggle to make sense of what happened to them, how ill they were, or why they are so weak afterwards. There is evidence to suggest that some patients find a diary helpful in "filling in the blanks" and making sense of their illness, care and treatment.
Diaries can be written by family members and/or the nurses, and generally include a day-by-day account of the patient's illness, care and progress. Some families also like to write about what's going on in everyday family life while the patient's in Intensive care, sometimes including pictures, cards and stories from grandchildren. Not all Intensive Care Units use diaries- ask the nurses if you're not sure.
Most importantly....you also need to take good care of yourself! Make sure that you get some rest, eat properly and have someone to talk to.