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My epic journey: a poem by a former patient

This is a touching, insightful and inspiring poem written by Rose about her time in Intensive Care and beyond.She has very kindly given permission for us to include it here.

My epic journey; a poem by Rose Fraser

Edinburgh
Time stood still 27 March 2013
At the Royal Infirmary
Another world was dark
Not knowing was sad
Voices, voices repeated
Time will test your desire
How much do you want to live?
Noises, echoes, echoes
Ice-cream, Ice-cream
Chocolate, chocolate
Chanel red lipstick
Children, children
Were they ghosts?
Or in my head
In critical care you stare
at lights, walls,
clock and nurses
 
Noises, echoes, echoes
Machine beeping sounds
They keep me alive
Why so many tubes?
One feeding in my nose
My hearing seems to go
Noises, echoes, echoes
Faces come to visit
Smiling faces of family
My dear husband Blair
His caring mum, aunt
and sister great to see
Sister Suz and
a funny joke from Brian
a beautiful photo
from my sister Lorraine
My strong willed Mum
My brother Bryan
A sunbeam smile
from my daughter Jenny
Comforting smile
from my daughter Roisin 
 
Giving you hope
My best friend Julie
along with her Dad
Desire returns
When I see my sons
Antony so reassuring
Christopher so secure
A supportive message
from my nephew Ben
Marianna my eldest
calls from New Zealand
She talks and I tap the phone
Can't talk now I say
I am weak
She keeps me strong
Noises, echoes, echoes
An Angel is my nurse
in critical care 
She holds my hand
and brings me a fan 
Relief I can breath
 
Noises, echoes, echoes
I see shadows dancing
I hear children laughing
I hear the waves
Am I floating out to the sea
No I am not immortal
My soul is confused
Should I stay
Or should I go
Injections decide
The bossy Polish nurse
On the renal ward
Tells me to be strong
Read all the get well cards
To keep on going
Sounds like my song
 
To make love again
To dance in the moonlight
To sit by a log fire
Play with the girls
Proud of my sons
To laugh with my friends
To drink champagne, wine and beer
To shop until I drop
To get soaked in the rain
To write more poetry
To travel even more
To be a good gran
 
I want to see my first
grandchild
A boy or a girl?
Full of desire on my epic journey
I am now in the general ward
My list is still endless
So I am home now
The party of my life
No, not quite ready yet to end!
 
and then.....?
 
A shining light came on 16 September 2013
Lucy Ana Tomarelli in the same hospital 
my first beautiful granddaughter was born!
 
Rosita, July 2013V
 
Rose Fraser